The Italian Job

The Italian Job is another game based on a movie that most likely wont do anything for anyone. It simply follows suit in cross-entertainment blunders, and anyone looking for a game in this particular genre can do so much better.

There’s not a lot of times that I can remember where the formula for a video game was “Something Awful + Crazy Taxi,” but this is the Italian Jobs only claim to a milestone, and nobody wants that kind of a title. Unfortunately, the Italian Job gives you more modes to choose from aside from it’s basic Story mode, such as being able to take joy rides around the city, circuit races, and stunt courses. It would be intelligent of you not to look forward to what these modes supposedly offer, however. Taking a cozy seat in your car to roam about the games courses and city’s at your will is one of the more depressing features you’ll find in a game considering these city’s are lackluster and bland which, to be honest, are euphemisms. The stunt mode is nothing but a bold faced lie as stunts are considered to be tight rope walking with your vehicle and taking sharp turns. There’s a decent feel of speed, but the ultra sensitivity of the car it’s self makes you want to take it slow and pussy-foot around the ‘course’ to begin with.

Not to worry, though, because after you’re finished cruising through the stunt mode you’ll be able to engage in a circuit race with a friend if you’re cruel enough to drag someone you would call “friend” into racing with you. A quick turn and you’ll be upside down in a heartbeat with absolutely no way of getting back onto your front side. Granted, even though this is the games only penchant for realism, the fact that a non realistic vehicle movement engine got you on your back to begin with erases that completely.

The missions you’re sent out to complete, half the time much to your dismay, are boring and trite bringing absolutely nothing to the table in the ways of innovation or creativity. The only way anyone will get a kick out of these tasks are the type that enjoy continuously racing father time, and people who get their jollies from beating the clock, and nothing more. This makes for a game that had a shred of potential that would have shot this game up to sub-par instead of frustratingly bad, but just never cashed in or followed through. All the Italian Jobs upsides are seriously slain by it’s downsides. The levels in the game are actually rather large but unfulfilling. Nobody wants bigger, larger and more spacious crud.

The sound doesn’t help this games cause either, and it simply keeps with the games theme of being boring and monotone. These luxury cars don’t purr like a kitten, they buzz harshly like they have a belt problem. All harsh words aside, though, the Italian Job had a little something going for it in a lot of aspects. Not that it would have been groundbreaking by any means, but it just would have been a much better creation if it was injected with some more thought, time, and innovation. The result, however, is nothing short of trash in the big picture.

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