Marble Maid (Switch) Review
The amateurish lewd pictures are great if you are a 13 year old boy
There is a lot to collect if you are into that kind of punishment
Sound quips alone will make you want to power down your Switch
Some stage design is ok, some is tolerable, some is awful and not even playable
The payoff of unlocking lewds does not justify the work to do so
Instead of a monkey trap inside a ball like Sega’s popular Monkeyball franchise, Marble Maid features a creepily designed anime maid trapped inside an orb, tasked with touching literal dust “bunnies” in stages that remind of the pyramid from Q-bert. Platforming in a ball is never accurate since you are always rolling, hunting down these bunnies is stupidly annoying and never fun since they move just as fast as you at high speed, and the payoff doesn’t justify the hard work – unlocking lewd, amateurish drawings.
The main goal is to collect enough dust bunnies to activate the goal, then reach said goal, before time runs out. Each stage features a couple extra bunnies to nab if you have the dedication to collect them all, which in turn, unlocks more drawings. Most stages are usually short, only taking a minute or two to clear, but some are designed in a way that isn’t fun, like fumbling through pitch black areas or spots that demand accurate jumps. The worst part – being forced to listen to the ear piercing “let’s clean this” sound quip every few seconds. It is like the maid is trying to make you rage quit.
Hunting down these bunnies is actually the worst part. Since they move so fast, the player’s only chance at nabbing them requires cheesing the system. If you get lucky, they will just fall off the stage into the abyss and respawn right on top of you for an instant grab, or you’ll have to push them into a corner and hope they don’t jump around you as you approach. Honestly, it is not fun, tedious, and always an annoying hindrance. What if every stage in Mario 64 had you trying to grab that golden bunny? That is pretty much what Marble Maid is only you have less accurate controls since you’re trapped inside an orb.
Other than a speedrun mode, which is exactly the same as the main quest only with a timer placed at the edge of the screen, there isn’t anything special or different. Like controlling a marble around a stage, this is just a platformer with tedious objectives. Even the main hub world requires the player navigate some odd jumps to even reach the gallery area. The unlockable lower-quality naughty images are not enough to save this maid from a sub-par adventure.
Not As Good As: Marble It Up
Don’t Forget About: Wreckin’ Ball Adventure
Wait For It: a new Monkeyball with online Monkey Fight and Monkey Target
By: Zachary Gasiorowski, Editor in Chief myGamer.com
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