Battle

I am not left-handed either.

*Dark Wijg bursts into a million phazon particles. They dance around the air for a few moments. wijg looks around, concerned. The particles begin to coelesce once more. When Dark Wijg rematerializes his arm cannon has moved from his left hand to his right hand.*

*BATTLE CONTINUES COMMENCING*
 
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Ok.

*FINAL BATTLE FLOURISH. WIJG FIRES BLAST AFTER BLAST. DARK WIJG DEFLECTS EACH SHOT WITH HIS PHAZON SHIELD. WIJG STARTS TO GROW TIRED. HE HAD GONE TO THE GYM EARLIER TODAY AND WAS FEELING THE DEEP BURN FROM DOING OVER A THOUSAND ARM CURLS. HIS GUNS, BOTH MECHANICAL AND BIOLOGICAL, WERE RUNNING ON EMPTY. FINALLY, DARK WIJG KNOCKS WIJG DOWN AND LOWERS HIS ARM CANNON INTO HIS FACE.*

Kill me quickly.
 
There is only one thing more that I want to do in this life than to see yours end. And that is for you to suffer. We are even now. You didn't kill me, and I won't kill you...this time. I must travel across the universe and bang all the other chicks. So that when I return, and you are still a snivelling little bitch, I can torment you with the tales of all of my conquests. Only then when I see the pathetic spirit within your rotting hunk of meat, seriously dude it's called deodorant, it's not expensive, only then will I end your existence knowing that your life has reached the lowest of all lows. Until next time brother.

However, since I can't have you following me either --

*Dark Wijg strikes wijg across the crown of his head with his arm cannon. wijg is knocked unconscious. Dark Wijg laughs, a horrible screeching sound, and bursts into a million phazon particles. The particles rush into the night sky and out into the cold dark reaches of space. The laugh seems to linger in the darkness as the blue dots of light fade...
 
*runs over and cradles wijg's head in her lap*

My dear, sweet Westley, are you all right?

*wijg's eyes open and close again*

You idiot! Wake up! Didn't I tell you to wait for me? I told you! You couldn't take him by yourself!

*drops wijg back to the ground in sheer frustration and walks away muttering to herself about incompetent wannabe heroes*
 
*walks up to an unconcious wijg and takes his wallet*
I told you you'd get your ass kicked
*walks of whistling the tune of "whistle while you work*
 
*wijg takes to long to wake up, so ghost and I toss him in a box face up to protect him from sodomy* :boxedin:
Well our work's done, Taco Bell? wijg's buying
 
*wakes up groggy*

Damn what the hell happened? Why am I in this box? And where the hell did my wallet go? Shit, I knew I shouldn't have kept that photo of me with my address, my class schedule, and a list of my fears on the back.
 
Are you happy, wijg? DW is gone and with him any chance I had of stripping him of all his monetary worth. I mean you just know the hospital bills for an alien baby caesarian are going to be astronomical!