Kurruptions Rants
- Thread starter kurruption
- Start date
My god. Demi has returned. The smilies are back. KURPLAUGH.
Holy poop BC, you did take a nice leap there in active user status.
"I see you have mastered the power of the Schwartz, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."
Holy poop BC, you did take a nice leap there in active user status.
"I see you have mastered the power of the Schwartz, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."
It was a dark side power that accumulated those points. However, I will vindicate myself by exposing teh secret to the council leaders in the hopes that others cannot abuse the phorce in the future.
Wijg Behind the Music
Wijg was the son of late comedian Sam Kinison and pilot Amelia Earhart, born in Juno Alaska, Wijg fished along with his father, who was a fisherman. His mother went to aviator school, one day, her mother had to take her final exam, a trip around the world, she was never heard from again. Wijg was 2 at the time. Wijg and his father moved to Las Angeles after that, seeing it to be too painful to continue living in Alaska. Sam found work as a comedian while wijg found solace in his true love music.
Being raised by a single parent was never easy, but it helped when your babysitters consisted of Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Johnny Cash, then one day, Wijg came across the music that would rock his world The Monkees. Close friend of Wijg Bob Barker says “All he ever did was listen to those hippies, he never had time for anything else, don’t forget to spaye and neuter your pets folks.
Wijg worked all throughout his childhood, he only had one dream, to be a musician. He worked various odd jobs, busboy, janitor, aid to the president and even pornstar. Close friend Ron Jeremy says “I remember the first time he was going to be in a movie, John Holmes and I jokingly told him his first scene was going to be an all male 3some with us and he was going to be the catcher, he didn’t mind at all, he was determined to work, only so he could buy himself a guitar.
After 3 years of working the porn circuit, Wijg got his wish, a cherry red fender guitar. He started performing in the Los Angeles underground rock circuit with his band, “Screw Your Yankee Blue Jeans†their first single “Berserker†was everywhere.
Life seemed great for Wijg, but fate had a nasty turn for the worse. His idols the Monkees came out with a fateful revelation, they never played their own instruments. Wijg was crushed. Old bandmate Dave Navarro says “when he found out, he was crushed, he started experimenting with crack cocaine, and acid, one day he didn’t show up for practice so we went to his apartment, and we found him naked rolled up into a little ball, mumbling something about Microsoft buying out Rare.†Wijg spent his life savings on crack, “I had a very good connection, so I could buy the stuff at bargain prices†His connection was demigoddess, she works even today with a Tijuana based drug cartel, and their leader El Diety. To this day Demigoddess has not been arrested because she only speaks in code. When asked about her famous client demigoddess simply states “ :t: â€.
“I knew I had hit rock bottom†says Wijg of his habit. So he decided to check himself into the Betty Ford clinic, that’s where he met Kurruption. When asked about Kurruption, Wijg states, “oh yeah, he was so strung out on coke, he only spoke by quoting Family Guy.†When asked about the Betty Ford clinic Kurruption states “oh I bet this where god would go if he ever stopped doing blow.†Wijg and Kurruption where friends at first until the fateful day when Wijg told him he acted like a child, to which kurruption responded “Well if I’m a child you know what that makes you, a pedophile, and I’ll be damned if I stand here and listen to some pervert.â€
After a 3 month stay, Wijg found work as a legal advisor for governor Arnold Schwarcenegger. He worked with partner Ghost toast. “At first he was really dedicated to helping California†says Ghost Toast. “I later found out what he was really after.†Wijg had secretly been an informant for the Las Angeles Post and brought the downfall of the governators regime. “He wanted his codename to be Debbie Does Dallas†says LA Post reporter Bcampbell, “he sure is one creepy bastard.â€
1 year later Wijg returned to his passion, music. He composed ring tones for a living. He even found a love interest. Wijg formed a relationship with singer and Oscar winner Cher. “It was nothing big†says Wijg “it was just my turn.â€
With ring tones going out of style, thanks to advances in technology, Wijg found it was time to leave California. He now resides in Atlanta Georgia, along with his mail order bride and 2 kids Wijg states “If knowing what I know now I was given a second chance to live my lie, I wouldn’t change a thing, the drugs, the sex, the politics, not a thing.â€
:largehampy:
Wijg was the son of late comedian Sam Kinison and pilot Amelia Earhart, born in Juno Alaska, Wijg fished along with his father, who was a fisherman. His mother went to aviator school, one day, her mother had to take her final exam, a trip around the world, she was never heard from again. Wijg was 2 at the time. Wijg and his father moved to Las Angeles after that, seeing it to be too painful to continue living in Alaska. Sam found work as a comedian while wijg found solace in his true love music.
Being raised by a single parent was never easy, but it helped when your babysitters consisted of Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Johnny Cash, then one day, Wijg came across the music that would rock his world The Monkees. Close friend of Wijg Bob Barker says “All he ever did was listen to those hippies, he never had time for anything else, don’t forget to spaye and neuter your pets folks.
Wijg worked all throughout his childhood, he only had one dream, to be a musician. He worked various odd jobs, busboy, janitor, aid to the president and even pornstar. Close friend Ron Jeremy says “I remember the first time he was going to be in a movie, John Holmes and I jokingly told him his first scene was going to be an all male 3some with us and he was going to be the catcher, he didn’t mind at all, he was determined to work, only so he could buy himself a guitar.
After 3 years of working the porn circuit, Wijg got his wish, a cherry red fender guitar. He started performing in the Los Angeles underground rock circuit with his band, “Screw Your Yankee Blue Jeans†their first single “Berserker†was everywhere.
Life seemed great for Wijg, but fate had a nasty turn for the worse. His idols the Monkees came out with a fateful revelation, they never played their own instruments. Wijg was crushed. Old bandmate Dave Navarro says “when he found out, he was crushed, he started experimenting with crack cocaine, and acid, one day he didn’t show up for practice so we went to his apartment, and we found him naked rolled up into a little ball, mumbling something about Microsoft buying out Rare.†Wijg spent his life savings on crack, “I had a very good connection, so I could buy the stuff at bargain prices†His connection was demigoddess, she works even today with a Tijuana based drug cartel, and their leader El Diety. To this day Demigoddess has not been arrested because she only speaks in code. When asked about her famous client demigoddess simply states “ :t: â€.
“I knew I had hit rock bottom†says Wijg of his habit. So he decided to check himself into the Betty Ford clinic, that’s where he met Kurruption. When asked about Kurruption, Wijg states, “oh yeah, he was so strung out on coke, he only spoke by quoting Family Guy.†When asked about the Betty Ford clinic Kurruption states “oh I bet this where god would go if he ever stopped doing blow.†Wijg and Kurruption where friends at first until the fateful day when Wijg told him he acted like a child, to which kurruption responded “Well if I’m a child you know what that makes you, a pedophile, and I’ll be damned if I stand here and listen to some pervert.â€
After a 3 month stay, Wijg found work as a legal advisor for governor Arnold Schwarcenegger. He worked with partner Ghost toast. “At first he was really dedicated to helping California†says Ghost Toast. “I later found out what he was really after.†Wijg had secretly been an informant for the Las Angeles Post and brought the downfall of the governators regime. “He wanted his codename to be Debbie Does Dallas†says LA Post reporter Bcampbell, “he sure is one creepy bastard.â€
1 year later Wijg returned to his passion, music. He composed ring tones for a living. He even found a love interest. Wijg formed a relationship with singer and Oscar winner Cher. “It was nothing big†says Wijg “it was just my turn.â€
With ring tones going out of style, thanks to advances in technology, Wijg found it was time to leave California. He now resides in Atlanta Georgia, along with his mail order bride and 2 kids Wijg states “If knowing what I know now I was given a second chance to live my lie, I wouldn’t change a thing, the drugs, the sex, the politics, not a thing.â€
:largehampy:
The image at the bottom of the above post is actually an accurate representation of what I look like now after all that. It's been a crazy ride, but I'm glad somebody told the tale. Someone who was there. Someone who knew the truth, the lies, the fibs, the bullshits, everything. I can finally rest easy now that the world knows my story. I can rest easy...and eat my ice cream.
No, I'm with the mail order bride now. Unless Cher IS my mail order bride. Kurruption?
:largehampy:
:largehampy:
no, Cher was just one of those things that happen, like herpes.
Also why the hell is their another ham-ham in my post, I swear this is like some conspiracy or something.
Also why the hell is their another ham-ham in my post, I swear this is like some conspiracy or something.
Dammit, they invaded my posts as well. No one is safe. Not even my anti ham ham cream that I accidentally bought because I thought it was handsome cream can save me.