A handheld, portable game dust remover. Tired of expelling valuable air trying to get your old games to work. Well, you're in luck. Cap-enix-are-do-soft-y-co-ware have come up with the gadget just for you. Never again become hyperventilated in order to make those classic games come alive again. Or maybe it's the system that's the problem, and not the cartridge. Well, the handheld, portable game dust remover works on that as well. "It's so easy, even a Puertorican can understand it." "Unlike the Holocaust, this is real." So call right now. Operators are standing by. This product not sold in stores. So start saving those mygamer points. "You couldn't buy a better one off a drunken Indian."
Note: for those who have not seen The Amazing Time Savers SNL sketch with Heather Locklear and Mike Myers, you were probably offended by this post. For that I apologize. You should watch more classic SNL. The skit was hilarious and revealed the dangers of stereotypes, "but that should have been obvious to anyone who isn't a retard."