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Dammit kurruption, we should be taking the HindenPeter. Well, you'll have to drive the batmobile. I don't think I can fold my body into the prone position it takes to drive it.
 
While you idiots were off mucking around with your cars and blimps, I very calmly drove myself to the local hospital and after 24 hours of excruiating labor gave birth to a darling baby girl. I held her in my arms and named her Samus. Then she sat up, slapped me, and called me a repressive and stifling mother. Samus announced she was moving out and was going to go perform on Broadway. As we speak she is auditioning for a role in Avenue Q. Motherhood was the worst 48 hours of my life. Thankfully, she's all grown up and I now only have to deal with the occasional berating phone call.
 
See what happens when you leave, demi? We get bored and before you know it everyone has evil twins and alien babies.
 
seriously katie, you should just disown that baby girl before she finds out about her real father and before you know it, bam, to the maury show