While you idiots were off mucking around with your cars and blimps, I very calmly drove myself to the local hospital and after 24 hours of excruiating labor gave birth to a darling baby girl. I held her in my arms and named her Samus. Then she sat up, slapped me, and called me a repressive and stifling mother. Samus announced she was moving out and was going to go perform on Broadway. As we speak she is auditioning for a role in Avenue Q. Motherhood was the worst 48 hours of my life. Thankfully, she's all grown up and I now only have to deal with the occasional berating phone call.