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Wanking Simulator (PC) Review

Wanking Simulator 01 press material

Postal 2 was released in 2003, almost exactly 17 years before this title came out.  It set a new standard for not only violence and obscenity in video games, but also dual morality as the player can complete several sections of the game without killing anyone if they so choose.  Wanking Simulator makes the same claim, but only because it also states that you are only knocking people out, not killing them.

All modern games have some level of broken jankiness to them, this goes twenty times more for open world titles.  What shouldn’t be allowed is being completely broken. One of the more common occurrences is that the player character will be on another floor in a two-level house and be struck by a non-player character from the first level, that they can’t see.  It isn’t much of a concern, as they can also be attacked blindly from other floors as well.  This randomly works for horizontal distance as well, because.  The main character can also be one shot killed from full health, randomly, with no police attention on them.

This is a game that people are charging money for, which it shouldn’t be.  If someone had told me that this had come out directly after Postal 2, or before it, as a fan project based on that engine, I would have believed them and still not paid money for it.  The Postal 4 game is in pre-alpha, has only recently added the functionality to save progress, and is already leagues better than any part of this experience.  There is no reason to play this game, it isn’t crude in a fun way.  It doesn’t push any new bounds, and when it is in your face, it steps back far enough to try and avoid most attention.  This game didn’t know what it wanted to be and failed at anything it could have been.  Ignore it.

Rating

Our Rating - 3

3

Total Score

Buy Postal 4 and support Running with Scissors instead.

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