Nirvana Pilot Yume (PC) Review

It is rare that a game comes out that it legitimately makes the person playing it feel insulted simply by engaging with it.  Nirvana Pilot Yume has managed to do that.  Somehow through a lack of completely not understanding any of the genres that it borrows “inspiration” from.  It isn’t that Nirvana doesn’t try hard, it is that the game is just bad.

The first offensive part of the game is the story, which is both nonsensical and juvenile.  It is about elite racers, or something, and their bond with a teammate.  The main character used to be important, but is now washed up.  It is all very stock, and sounds like something someone wrote directly out of a MadLibs.  Don’t worry, when everything starts to get boring the game mentions sex.

All of this is told to the player through a visual novel type interface, with multiple choices and everything.  Get the right answer and get closer to the teammate.  Get the wrong answer and… well not much.  The right answer’s primary award is an extra life during the race section, which is nice, save for the fact that the race section is impossible and terrible.

Which brings up the next, and biggest fault, the racing.  Sometimes the player will be required to move left or right.  Sometimes jumps need to be made.  If the luck is on your side you may have 25 milliseconds to react to these choices.  But don’t worry, the game gives you the limited ability to slow time, which is great, if you know when to use it.  Otherwise it is a random guessing game that makes everything nothing more than memorization in a bland word that looks like it was literally created in MS Paint.

Nirvana Pilot Yume has the power to make you angry that you even wasted your time downloading it.  Any brief thought that was put into anything to do with this game could have been spent doing pretty much anything else.  Instead I spent it here, attempting to review this.  As a side note this game has also been on sale since it came out, so it seems that the people who made it knew that they had a winner on their hands as well.