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Now I Know My ABCs Wii U eShop Review

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Making You Dumber –

Skunk Software has been making a name for themselves by releasing not only the worst games on the Wii U eShop but potentially some of the worst games of all time. Even taking into consideration that Now I Know My ABCs, a $2.49 digital downloadable “game,” is geared toward toddlers, it is still strongly not recommended.

For a game that is supposed to teach you how to write letters and speak words, the complete lack of instruction is mind blowing. After booting up with a loading screen that makes it seem like your TV is going to blow up, the game, which is more like an app since you can’t win or lose, just starts singing the ABC song at the player. After listening to this song loop one time, I thought the screen locked up.  Thing is, the face buttons do nothing; the game is controlled through the Wii U Gamepad touchscreen only.

Here is a video of me trying to “play” Now I Know My ABCs:

All the letters of the alphabet are listed on the touchscreen.  Once one is tapped, the player is taken to a screen that looks like a sheet of paper. On the left, the capital letter will be drawn connect-the-dots style followed by the lower case version on the right. The “goal” is to have the player draw each letter. The problem is, the touchscreen is inaccurate and you have to wait for the ghosting letters to disappear before the player is allowed to use the touchscreen.  Even for a three year old, the amount of waiting involved is absurd. And even if the player didn’t have to wait, the touchscreen doesn’t even register properly as tracing over the ghosted lines often does nothing. However, there is no penalty for drawing each letter incorrectly.

After both the lower and uppercase letters are written on the Gamepad, the game literally applauses the player, sounds off with an Atari 2600 video fart sound effect, and moves onto the next letter.  But let’s say you are on letter “D” and decide you want to work on the letter “R.”  The only way to navigate back to the main singing ABC page is to awkwardly tap the little skunk icon on the bottom left of the screen, listen to the super strange “By Skunk Software” narration, then for the game to load back to the main screen.  Why would a player click this icon to go back? Why would the game narrate its own name to the three year-old players who don’t even understand who publishers and developers are? Why does the interface suck so badly? We probably will never know.

Now I Know My ABCs is just God-awful. The interface, design, and even the sound effects are broken and just plain stupid.  Why anyone would pay actual money for this is a mystery especially given the fact that there are tons of free mobile apps that are way more entertaining and educational. Like their namesake, Skunk Software stinks.

Not As Good As: umm, pretty much nothing
Also Try: Donkey Kong Jr. Math
Wait For It: Now I Know My Advanced Calculous

By: Zachary Gasiorowski, Editor in Chief
Twitter: @ZackGaz

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