D
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LeaSt We FOrGET thE gOOd TiMEs AnD tHE LinKWhInE
DLP
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LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
Hard work. Scandal. Lust. Drugs. Money. Fame. Sex. Cheez-Its.
And that's just half the story.
Here, finally, is the complete, uncensored tale of the phenomenom known as LinkPrime.
The Beginning - By DLP
Justin "LinkPrime" Somethingorother was born to a blue-class suburban family on December 21, 1986.
The oldest of two boys, Link was entrusted with the duty of raising his sibilings from a young age.
Soon, financial strain forced Link to start working at night, in addition to flunking his way through
school.
"He was always looking out for us, protecting us and stuff," says Jeff Somethingwhydoyoucare, Link's
youngest brother. "It was hard for him, going to school in the day, raising us in the evening, and stripping
at night, but through it all he always kept a smile on his face......at first we thought he was nuts, but I guess he
just really,really liked stripping at male clubs. I don't know......Hey! **** you man!"
It was during his time as a male stripper that Link met his friend and life partner, Keith "AfroGaming Master"
Boomshaklaka. Afro recalls the moment the two first saw each other. "I was at the club, doing my thing,
you know.....You know. Selling that hard drive, baby, **** yeah......but anyways, I was at the club, posted
up, checking the scene. All the dancers know who I am, baby, so you know I was in VIP, drinkin', smokin',
doing a little......you know.....you know." At this point Afro started gesturing towards his nose while
sniffing loudly. "But yeah, I don't do that anymore, I'm a business man now, but back then......
Oooooooo weeeee! But anyways.....what was I talking about again?.....oh yeah, Link. Yeah baby, Link
was looking good that night. He set the house on fire - Literally - while performing this crazy dance
routine where he would juggle two flaming.....I don't know, whacking clubs, or something.....while
dancing and removing his thong to the beat of the "Super Mario" theme. It was wild man, just wild.
Blew me away......It took two whole 8-Balls just to get back on track."
After his routine, Afro insisted on meeting the young star in his dressing room. "I had to see him.....with an
ass like that, I just couldn't resist......I could just picture myself snorting.......you know.....off that rock hard
ass," Afro said, while selling a plastic knife to Deity for $45.
Afro and Link hit it off instantly, and a legendary friendship/ambigious gay relationship was born.
The Legend Is Made - Still By DLP
After becoming a local icon on the male stripper circuit, Link found himself with a small fortune saved
up in the bank. With the money, Link could finally afford to move his family out of the crime-ridden, no-good,
talent-less, NY Yankee-**** suckin', Celtic-hating, awful-sports town of New York. Link's family described it
as a joyful day.
"Finally we were out of New York, where all the sports teams suck ass.....big fat donkey ass," said Link's
uncle, movie star Ron Jeremy.
With a new, beautiful home in the cozy, not-quite-Boston-but-still-better-than-NY town of Danbury, Ct,
Link felt he was finally at peace with himself. "Link was starting to take up yoga and meditation and all
that other yuppie stuff," said Link's aunt, singer Mariah Carey. "He really wanted to clear his mind and
start anew. Plus, he getting ready to direct my first movie, 'Glitter,' so he had alot going on at that time."
After "Glitter" became a huge hit in Denmark, Link began to focus his energies on other endeavors,
involving both business - and pleasure.
"Yeah, I don't know what 'endeavors' means, cause' I'm from New York, but I'm sure Link was doing it," said
Link's cousin, author Pete Rose. "At that point, Link was doing everything.......and I mean EVERYTHING.....
make sure you put 'everything' in caps, cause' I want to emphasize it, and capital letters can do that. Because,
you know, Link was hanging with Afro, and Afro introduced him to Toneski, and Toneski introduced him to Thug....
and you know Thug likes to.....you know.....(at this point, Rose picked up a banana and positioned it near his
butthole).
Despite his off-camera problems, Link continued to make waves. He surprised the world in May 2003 when
he signed with MyGamer as a full-time poster/spammer. This came at a time when the male stripper circuit
was ablaze with rumors that he would return to the stage one last time to perform at the annual
"Beefcake Man Expo" in Los Angeles. Even his manager/friend/sometimes lover/confidante AfroBlaster
was surprised at this turn of events.
"I really didn't expect it.....he was praticing his routine all the time, every night." Afro recalled. "He would
stay up till the late hours of the night, sometimes even till 9 or 10 o'clock, which is WAY past his
bedtime!!!!111oneoneone!!!! I was like man, it's late, we gotta go to bed. And he would be like, what the
f*ck are you doing in my bed.......and then I would be like, 'dude, what the f*ck are YOU doing in MY
bed!!!!111!!!!!"
"We would go back and forth like that for hours.....until we realized we were actually in AcaciaStrain's bed,
which I didn't mind that much," said Afro.
LinkPrime vs DLP - Ditto
After joining the forums, Link immediately recruited his best friend/drinking pal/drug pusher The
AfroSpammer."I figured hey, what the hell. At least now we had a place to go when we wanted
to pretend we're drunk and sell all this old sh*t I got in my ex-wife's garage," Afro said as he sold
a box of Cheez-Its to Deity for $80.
Not long after Link and Afro joined, a talented - but eccentric - youngster by the name of DLP
entered the scene. Link and DLP immediately lighted up the boards in a countless number of
unforgettable threads that usually saw DLP make Link look like an absolute buffoon. This
friendly rivalry was the highlight of the Summer of 2003 (Note: no really, check the archives.
It was all classic)
After DLP took one of his many "vacations" in the Fall, LinkPrime took this opportunity to
make it on his own. He succeeded as a solo act, carrying the boards through the numerous
slow periods in the Fall. The world had been put on its ear by the former stripper, and Link
was back in the spotlight.
He's A Motha****in' P.I.M.P (And A MVP) - Guess Who?
Upon his return, DLP named Link the 2003 MyGamer MVP, while also re-christening him "P.I.M.Prime,"
(P.I.M.P for short).
P.I.M.P was on a legendary roll, one that continued even after he lost the MG World Title to DLP at the
Survivor Series.
P.I.M.P was on top of his game, with the whole world at his feet. At the time, his movie, "Short Guys Get
Ass, Too" (co-starring Steve Guttenburg and Bubba from "Police Academy" hit #1 in Camdenton, Missouri,
and his much-anticipated gangsta rap album, "P.I.M.Prime Da Gangsta: My Side 2 Da Story" shot up to the top
spot on the Billboard Hot 100.
Everything was going his way. He had dozens and dozens of adoring fans around the world.
But then, in the middle of astronomical, unprecedented success, it all came crashing down.
The Long Road Home - Yep, Still Me
When he found out from his great-uncle, Hall Of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan, that his
friend/prostate cancer inspector/overall good guy The AfroFlamer had suffered an overdose,
Link decided to return home to the trashy, dirty, second rate state of New York in order to
clear his mind and support his friend. "I think P.I.M.P, or Link, or whatever DLP is calling
him this week, needed to get away from it all. He just needed to go home, just like the scared
little Nintendo fangirl he is," said longtime adversary Adam The PhantomSpammer.
Although the recovery was long and hard, and continues to this day, P.I.M.P has returned to
the forums, his home away from home, with a vengeance. He remains MG's most visible
poster, and with newfound seniority, he has now taken it upon himself to acclimate the
many "n00bs" that now populate the boards. Finally, he is at peace.
LinkPrime: A True MyGamer Legend.
And that was his True Hollywood Story.
---
-----------------"Once a loser, now a Writer"------------------
- DLP, 2003
Retired as the UNDEFEATED MG World Heavyweight Champion.
Support My Shit At DLP.Com
Get Jiggy With It At AfroMaster.com
1/27/2004, 4:03 am Send PM to DLP
afromaster
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Registered: 01-2004
Posts: 40
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Re: LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*applauds*
that was one of the funniest things if ever read
---
idk...i guess if I had to describe myself in one word it would be: GOD
1/28/2004, 3:30 am Send PM to afromaster
DLP
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Registered: 01-2004
Posts: 31
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
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I'm So Great
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you.
BTW, Thunder Kiss '65 is the greatest rock song EVER. I will accept no argument on this.
Again, thank you.
---
-----------------"Once a loser, now a Writer"------------------
- DLP, 2003
Retired as the UNDEFEATED MG World Heavyweight Champion.
Support My Shit At DLP.Com
Get Jiggy With It At AfroMaster.com
1/29/2004, 3:17 am Send PM to DLP
DLP
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 01-2004
Posts: 31
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
Reply | Quote
LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
Hard work. Scandal. Lust. Drugs. Money. Fame. Sex. Cheez-Its.
And that's just half the story.
Here, finally, is the complete, uncensored tale of the phenomenom known as LinkPrime.
The Beginning - By DLP
Justin "LinkPrime" Somethingorother was born to a blue-class suburban family on December 21, 1986.
The oldest of two boys, Link was entrusted with the duty of raising his sibilings from a young age.
Soon, financial strain forced Link to start working at night, in addition to flunking his way through
school.
"He was always looking out for us, protecting us and stuff," says Jeff Somethingwhydoyoucare, Link's
youngest brother. "It was hard for him, going to school in the day, raising us in the evening, and stripping
at night, but through it all he always kept a smile on his face......at first we thought he was nuts, but I guess he
just really,really liked stripping at male clubs. I don't know......Hey! **** you man!"
It was during his time as a male stripper that Link met his friend and life partner, Keith "AfroGaming Master"
Boomshaklaka. Afro recalls the moment the two first saw each other. "I was at the club, doing my thing,
you know.....You know. Selling that hard drive, baby, **** yeah......but anyways, I was at the club, posted
up, checking the scene. All the dancers know who I am, baby, so you know I was in VIP, drinkin', smokin',
doing a little......you know.....you know." At this point Afro started gesturing towards his nose while
sniffing loudly. "But yeah, I don't do that anymore, I'm a business man now, but back then......
Oooooooo weeeee! But anyways.....what was I talking about again?.....oh yeah, Link. Yeah baby, Link
was looking good that night. He set the house on fire - Literally - while performing this crazy dance
routine where he would juggle two flaming.....I don't know, whacking clubs, or something.....while
dancing and removing his thong to the beat of the "Super Mario" theme. It was wild man, just wild.
Blew me away......It took two whole 8-Balls just to get back on track."
After his routine, Afro insisted on meeting the young star in his dressing room. "I had to see him.....with an
ass like that, I just couldn't resist......I could just picture myself snorting.......you know.....off that rock hard
ass," Afro said, while selling a plastic knife to Deity for $45.
Afro and Link hit it off instantly, and a legendary friendship/ambigious gay relationship was born.
The Legend Is Made - Still By DLP
After becoming a local icon on the male stripper circuit, Link found himself with a small fortune saved
up in the bank. With the money, Link could finally afford to move his family out of the crime-ridden, no-good,
talent-less, NY Yankee-**** suckin', Celtic-hating, awful-sports town of New York. Link's family described it
as a joyful day.
"Finally we were out of New York, where all the sports teams suck ass.....big fat donkey ass," said Link's
uncle, movie star Ron Jeremy.
With a new, beautiful home in the cozy, not-quite-Boston-but-still-better-than-NY town of Danbury, Ct,
Link felt he was finally at peace with himself. "Link was starting to take up yoga and meditation and all
that other yuppie stuff," said Link's aunt, singer Mariah Carey. "He really wanted to clear his mind and
start anew. Plus, he getting ready to direct my first movie, 'Glitter,' so he had alot going on at that time."
After "Glitter" became a huge hit in Denmark, Link began to focus his energies on other endeavors,
involving both business - and pleasure.
"Yeah, I don't know what 'endeavors' means, cause' I'm from New York, but I'm sure Link was doing it," said
Link's cousin, author Pete Rose. "At that point, Link was doing everything.......and I mean EVERYTHING.....
make sure you put 'everything' in caps, cause' I want to emphasize it, and capital letters can do that. Because,
you know, Link was hanging with Afro, and Afro introduced him to Toneski, and Toneski introduced him to Thug....
and you know Thug likes to.....you know.....(at this point, Rose picked up a banana and positioned it near his
butthole).
Despite his off-camera problems, Link continued to make waves. He surprised the world in May 2003 when
he signed with MyGamer as a full-time poster/spammer. This came at a time when the male stripper circuit
was ablaze with rumors that he would return to the stage one last time to perform at the annual
"Beefcake Man Expo" in Los Angeles. Even his manager/friend/sometimes lover/confidante AfroBlaster
was surprised at this turn of events.
"I really didn't expect it.....he was praticing his routine all the time, every night." Afro recalled. "He would
stay up till the late hours of the night, sometimes even till 9 or 10 o'clock, which is WAY past his
bedtime!!!!111oneoneone!!!! I was like man, it's late, we gotta go to bed. And he would be like, what the
f*ck are you doing in my bed.......and then I would be like, 'dude, what the f*ck are YOU doing in MY
bed!!!!111!!!!!"
"We would go back and forth like that for hours.....until we realized we were actually in AcaciaStrain's bed,
which I didn't mind that much," said Afro.
LinkPrime vs DLP - Ditto
After joining the forums, Link immediately recruited his best friend/drinking pal/drug pusher The
AfroSpammer."I figured hey, what the hell. At least now we had a place to go when we wanted
to pretend we're drunk and sell all this old sh*t I got in my ex-wife's garage," Afro said as he sold
a box of Cheez-Its to Deity for $80.
Not long after Link and Afro joined, a talented - but eccentric - youngster by the name of DLP
entered the scene. Link and DLP immediately lighted up the boards in a countless number of
unforgettable threads that usually saw DLP make Link look like an absolute buffoon. This
friendly rivalry was the highlight of the Summer of 2003 (Note: no really, check the archives.
It was all classic)
After DLP took one of his many "vacations" in the Fall, LinkPrime took this opportunity to
make it on his own. He succeeded as a solo act, carrying the boards through the numerous
slow periods in the Fall. The world had been put on its ear by the former stripper, and Link
was back in the spotlight.
He's A Motha****in' P.I.M.P (And A MVP) - Guess Who?
Upon his return, DLP named Link the 2003 MyGamer MVP, while also re-christening him "P.I.M.Prime,"
(P.I.M.P for short).
P.I.M.P was on a legendary roll, one that continued even after he lost the MG World Title to DLP at the
Survivor Series.
P.I.M.P was on top of his game, with the whole world at his feet. At the time, his movie, "Short Guys Get
Ass, Too" (co-starring Steve Guttenburg and Bubba from "Police Academy" hit #1 in Camdenton, Missouri,
and his much-anticipated gangsta rap album, "P.I.M.Prime Da Gangsta: My Side 2 Da Story" shot up to the top
spot on the Billboard Hot 100.
Everything was going his way. He had dozens and dozens of adoring fans around the world.
But then, in the middle of astronomical, unprecedented success, it all came crashing down.
The Long Road Home - Yep, Still Me
When he found out from his great-uncle, Hall Of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan, that his
friend/prostate cancer inspector/overall good guy The AfroFlamer had suffered an overdose,
Link decided to return home to the trashy, dirty, second rate state of New York in order to
clear his mind and support his friend. "I think P.I.M.P, or Link, or whatever DLP is calling
him this week, needed to get away from it all. He just needed to go home, just like the scared
little Nintendo fangirl he is," said longtime adversary Adam The PhantomSpammer.
Although the recovery was long and hard, and continues to this day, P.I.M.P has returned to
the forums, his home away from home, with a vengeance. He remains MG's most visible
poster, and with newfound seniority, he has now taken it upon himself to acclimate the
many "n00bs" that now populate the boards. Finally, he is at peace.
LinkPrime: A True MyGamer Legend.
And that was his True Hollywood Story.
---
-----------------"Once a loser, now a Writer"------------------
- DLP, 2003
Retired as the UNDEFEATED MG World Heavyweight Champion.
Support My Shit At DLP.Com
Get Jiggy With It At AfroMaster.com
1/27/2004, 4:03 am Send PM to DLP
afromaster
Head Administrator
Global user
Registered: 01-2004
Posts: 40
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
Reply | Quote
Re: LinkPrime: True Hollywood Story
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*applauds*
that was one of the funniest things if ever read
---
idk...i guess if I had to describe myself in one word it would be: GOD
1/28/2004, 3:30 am Send PM to afromaster
DLP
Registered user
Global user
Registered: 01-2004
Posts: 31
Karma: 0 (+0/-0)
Reply | Quote
I'm So Great
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you.
BTW, Thunder Kiss '65 is the greatest rock song EVER. I will accept no argument on this.
Again, thank you.
---
-----------------"Once a loser, now a Writer"------------------
- DLP, 2003
Retired as the UNDEFEATED MG World Heavyweight Champion.
Support My Shit At DLP.Com
Get Jiggy With It At AfroMaster.com
1/29/2004, 3:17 am Send PM to DLP
