PTACO

My life began in a French Nazi Taco Bell restaraunt as an experimental Taco-Flavored ice cream. When my body was eaten by Abraham Lincoln`s evil twin, the government planted my brain in a mosquito`s body. There I gained access to the internet using a top secret Area 51 computer and found this site. When the government agents learned I was using the computer to download free games off the internet, they locked me in a room with a TV that played nothing but reruns of "Lizzie McGuire." For obvious reasons, I committed suicide. I was later reincarnated as a Russian lab mouse named Oscar. In my new body, I eventually decided that the only way I could fit in is if I became President of the World. However, one of my nuclear projects backfired, leaving me mutated and disfigured. I then realized that I could no longer become a stand-up comedian, and was forced to leave my dreams behind. But after extensive drug treatments, I had regained my confidence. Also, I had discovered that the radiation had given me superpowers, allowing me to assume any shape I want. I then morphed myself back to my original shape. That`s my story and I`m sticking to it. The moral of this story? Don`t do drugs.