6 Hand Video Poker Wii U eShop Review
Umm, it won’t give you AIDS?
Literally lacks any kind of actual gameplay
The audio will make you wish you were deaf
Probably The Worst Casino Game Of All Time –
Recently, I reviewed Skunk Software’s previous game Mini Games Madness Vol 1 Hello World. Without question, this was one of the worst games I have ever played, ever. Continuing their trend of releasing poor quality games, Skunk Software’s 6 Hand Video Poker, a Wii U eShop $6 download, is downright insulting.
Like Now I Know My ABCs before it, the game initially loads with this horrendous sound effect that seems like an evil spirit is trying to break through your television screen to kill you. Once the game is fired up, it immediately kicks the player into the one and only screen of the game. There is no menu screen, there are no options to tinker with, the developer and publisher logos do not even pop up. Like the other Skunk Software games, there is no class or thought in its design, the UI is terrible, and nothing really makes sense.
Watch as I play through the entire content of this game in about one minute:
Calling 6 Hand Video Poker a “game” isn’t accurate as there is no really way to win, no way to lose, and the player actually doesn’t do anything other than tap a single button on the screen. For whatever reason, the player is playing six hands of poker at the same time and the one simple “Draw” button on the bottom shuffles the cards. There is no way to increase or decrease a bet, there is no game over screen, no multiplayer, no cosmetic or gameplay options, no leaderboards, and there really is no form of interaction other than tapping the Draw button and holding cards. Since the player cannot win or lose, this really isn’t a game at all. It is, however, one of the best “press the Draw button” simulators I have ever played.
Visually, there are no animations and a static background scrolls from left and right; the suit colors of the cards are also incorrect. As bad and plain as the visuals are, the worst part about the presentation has to be the audio department. The only audio is a fake casino/slot machine/people talking background noise that is trying to pretend it was recorded in an actual casino. But I swear if you listen to it closely, you can hear a mother yelling “it’s ok, honey” to what seems like a child. Why is a child in a 21+ casino in the first place? And this audio track is only about one minute long so the loop gets annoying quick, just like the gameplay. Also, when a winning hand is dealt, an ear piecing bug zapper-like sound effect plays, because, you know, bug zapping sound effects are realistic when playing poker.
This game is so bad it is almost like it was designed this way on purpose. Like some kind of sick inside joke. Apparently Nintendo’s (seal of) approval process on hosting games on the eShop service, and actually charging real world money for them, is very lenient. Just stay away from this filth.
Not As Good As: actually playing anything else
Also Try: Vegas Stakes
Wait For It: anything other than another Skunk game
By: Zachary Gasiorowski, Editor in Chief myGamer.com