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Well, my friends and I had a plot to begin controlling all the highway and railway construction companies in the world. Then, we would use an elaborate scheme involving a blimp armada and a lot of pseudoscience (particularly in the field of Geology) to reallign the tectonic plates and collapse all the continents back into the primeval world of Pangea. Than we would control all land based transportation, while maritime shipping would falter.
Of course, we fully expected 007 to kill us before we could complete are ridiculous plans.
Of course, we fully expected 007 to kill us before we could complete are ridiculous plans.
Step #1: Move to Japan.
#2: Get a job at a robotics company.
#3: Design robots that do my work better than me, so I quickly rise to the top of the company, squishing all who are in my path.
#4: Develop a line of personal valet robots capable of wireless Internet uplink and equipped with audio and video recording equipment.
#5: Market the Valet-Bots to the United States public. The lease contract will state that the lessee is allowing the company to use the Valet-Bot to record certain behavioural data, including visual and aural information, for research purposes, as well as part of an on-going customer satisfaction and product improvement program. A line would be included stating that some of the data might be used for public education purposes. That last line is key.
#6: Launch a show on Japanese TV called "Learn about Americans!" And show the most embarrassing and humourous footage gleaned from the constant recording of the Valet-Bots.
#2: Get a job at a robotics company.
#3: Design robots that do my work better than me, so I quickly rise to the top of the company, squishing all who are in my path.
#4: Develop a line of personal valet robots capable of wireless Internet uplink and equipped with audio and video recording equipment.
#5: Market the Valet-Bots to the United States public. The lease contract will state that the lessee is allowing the company to use the Valet-Bot to record certain behavioural data, including visual and aural information, for research purposes, as well as part of an on-going customer satisfaction and product improvement program. A line would be included stating that some of the data might be used for public education purposes. That last line is key.
#6: Launch a show on Japanese TV called "Learn about Americans!" And show the most embarrassing and humourous footage gleaned from the constant recording of the Valet-Bots.
Evil plots. Hmmm. Which ones do I choose, world domination, ultimate evil pranks, massive thievery, or mass destruction?
I'll start with mass destruction.
1) Station yourself at key truck stops which are enroute to distribution centers
2) Take over trucks like BOC gases who carry things like liquid nitrogen and liquid oxygen (the
truckers have to pee some time.)
3) Use the gasses to freeze the major water and sewer pipelines of a major city (we'll say NY for
Scribe's sake)
4) The pipelines will shatter and cut off all water and sewer for an entire city and probably flood
the subways with poo-water.
I'll start with mass destruction.
1) Station yourself at key truck stops which are enroute to distribution centers
2) Take over trucks like BOC gases who carry things like liquid nitrogen and liquid oxygen (the
truckers have to pee some time.)
3) Use the gasses to freeze the major water and sewer pipelines of a major city (we'll say NY for
Scribe's sake)
4) The pipelines will shatter and cut off all water and sewer for an entire city and probably flood
the subways with poo-water.
Here's a serious one...kinda.
Whether or not you believe in current Global Warming theories regarding human involvement, the scientific community does acknowledge that it can happen as a natural occurrence. Well, under the Gulf of Mexico and other places along continental shelves at approximately 500 meters in depth, are "cold seeps" or frozen Methane Hydrate deposits. Methane is a greenhouse gas and may be the responsible catalyst in Ice Age formation and Global Warming.
Drop a few nuclear devices around major deposits of Methane Hydrate and you can conceivably release enough gas to raise the temperature around the world to melt the polar ice caps within a handful of years...Creating new coastal properties that Lex Luthor could only dream of!!!!!
Whether or not you believe in current Global Warming theories regarding human involvement, the scientific community does acknowledge that it can happen as a natural occurrence. Well, under the Gulf of Mexico and other places along continental shelves at approximately 500 meters in depth, are "cold seeps" or frozen Methane Hydrate deposits. Methane is a greenhouse gas and may be the responsible catalyst in Ice Age formation and Global Warming.
Drop a few nuclear devices around major deposits of Methane Hydrate and you can conceivably release enough gas to raise the temperature around the world to melt the polar ice caps within a handful of years...Creating new coastal properties that Lex Luthor could only dream of!!!!!
Alright, Kate, you want something that can make some mad money?
Get a job at a football, basketball, baseball stadium as a janitor. Take some Karo syrup (or some other laxative) and inject it into every water bottle (taking the lids off without breaking the seal isn't impossible) or whatever drinks they have cooling in the ice. Just to make sure the job gets done, add tons of laxatives in everything from coffee to courtesy mints, water tanks to the shower heads (some people get water in their mouths when showering).
You probably see where this is going, but it gets worse. Now get powdered fiber glass (easy to find), stretch out rolls of toilet paper, sprinkle with fine white powder, roll back up and load the bathroom stalls.
Now comes the profitable part. Bet a wad of cash on the OTHER team. Then watch em knock the crap out of the other team (corny, but I couldn't resist). That won't be mud on the field and their butts will be so tore up that there will be no good running down the field.
Get a job at a football, basketball, baseball stadium as a janitor. Take some Karo syrup (or some other laxative) and inject it into every water bottle (taking the lids off without breaking the seal isn't impossible) or whatever drinks they have cooling in the ice. Just to make sure the job gets done, add tons of laxatives in everything from coffee to courtesy mints, water tanks to the shower heads (some people get water in their mouths when showering).
You probably see where this is going, but it gets worse. Now get powdered fiber glass (easy to find), stretch out rolls of toilet paper, sprinkle with fine white powder, roll back up and load the bathroom stalls.
Now comes the profitable part. Bet a wad of cash on the OTHER team. Then watch em knock the crap out of the other team (corny, but I couldn't resist). That won't be mud on the field and their butts will be so tore up that there will be no good running down the field.
Just to really up the odds, make sure the opposing team is awful like the Kansas City Royals or my *sniff* beloved New York Knicks. I assure you that the odds against the Knicks would be a pretty sweet payout.
Hmmmm...your "crappy" plan (groan) gives me ideas, darth. Knicks in '07!!!
Hmmmm...your "crappy" plan (groan) gives me ideas, darth. Knicks in '07!!!
Alright, of my afore mentioned categories, I have yet to do a world domination plot.
Being a king, president, or other title for a supreme potentate means you are the target for media, enemies of your country, enemies within your country, and may be limited by the law itself. However, if you are the one controlling the potentates, then you never take the heat. Put your own people in place (think Illuminati). Make loads of cash off of arranged wars. Oh, and don't let your loyal servants know who else is working for you.
How do you do this you ask? It can be quite simple. Blackmail is an easy way, but that only works for some and only for a little while. Greed is always the best way. Offer them more power like a Senate seat or rank promotion in the military. Don't tell them how you're going to do it, just do it. Maybe you have to kill someone or have them killed. Maybe you have one of your other cronies promote them for no reason at all. The higher up you move your pawns, the more secret information you receive and the more you learn about who needs to be eliminated and who needs to be recruited. Of course some will not be greedy for themselves, but for their country (which is even better). They may want to bypass the law, country policies, or red tape and get the job done. Once they begin making compromises, you'll have them hooked. If they start feeling guilty or are discovered you can either kill them off or make them take the rap for it.
The money will pour in and flow down to your subordinates. You control the world and no one knows who you are, so they can't eliminate you. They can't attack your country because you'll always have your other ones to either come to the rescue or profit from it. Kick back on one of your private islands with naked women serving you whatever drink you want or in one of your castles with lovely French maids (the ones that shave).
Being a king, president, or other title for a supreme potentate means you are the target for media, enemies of your country, enemies within your country, and may be limited by the law itself. However, if you are the one controlling the potentates, then you never take the heat. Put your own people in place (think Illuminati). Make loads of cash off of arranged wars. Oh, and don't let your loyal servants know who else is working for you.
How do you do this you ask? It can be quite simple. Blackmail is an easy way, but that only works for some and only for a little while. Greed is always the best way. Offer them more power like a Senate seat or rank promotion in the military. Don't tell them how you're going to do it, just do it. Maybe you have to kill someone or have them killed. Maybe you have one of your other cronies promote them for no reason at all. The higher up you move your pawns, the more secret information you receive and the more you learn about who needs to be eliminated and who needs to be recruited. Of course some will not be greedy for themselves, but for their country (which is even better). They may want to bypass the law, country policies, or red tape and get the job done. Once they begin making compromises, you'll have them hooked. If they start feeling guilty or are discovered you can either kill them off or make them take the rap for it.
The money will pour in and flow down to your subordinates. You control the world and no one knows who you are, so they can't eliminate you. They can't attack your country because you'll always have your other ones to either come to the rescue or profit from it. Kick back on one of your private islands with naked women serving you whatever drink you want or in one of your castles with lovely French maids (the ones that shave).
Giant robots can be effective, but they would probably be designed in Japan, with the parts manufactured in China, and then assembled in Mexico. I'll stick to toying with people's dark sides and manipulating them to my betterment. Unless I do get to control the robots. Then that would be fun. In the case of giant robots, Scribe, what do you use them for first and where?
I say giant robots to build mega-structures. Huge towers to house millions of people. Sub-aquatic trans-oceanic train systems. A space elevator. I'd harvest material from the meteor belt (the giant robots could do that too). I would also make sure to have a swarm of tiny robots as well, running around all over the giant ones, making repairs and keeping things clean and whatnot. they would be self-replicating and have built in population magagement controls.
I'm a big ideas guy...or more accurately, really, a henchmen. What the evil super-villains do with my robots is really up to them.
I suppose my suggestion would be to hold the world hostage for a ridiculous sum. After all, the world's governments would negotiate, right? They wouldn't send a super-secret agent to kill us would they?
I suppose my suggestion would be to hold the world hostage for a ridiculous sum. After all, the world's governments would negotiate, right? They wouldn't send a super-secret agent to kill us would they?
