Chuck Norris is God...or not --Merged

Cohesion Dude

Cohesion Dude

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Ode to Chuck Norris

THis thread is to honor the man that is Chuck Norris an how we love him so...

first if you dont know about The Chuck Norris.... then here is a link for some quick facts... and DO NOT doubt these facts... they are ALL true

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Chuck Norris the man:

Chuck Norris is a man of a man
Hes a married man
hes a ladies man
hes a big man
hes a small man
he is any man
hes a killer man
hes a renaissance man
hes a Jack of all trades man
hes a childrens man
hes a god of men

wait...

he IS God....


There it is...

Let no one tell you different ...

an DO NOT deny this or the great Chuck Norris HIMSELF will come and find you and roundhouse kick you in the chin....
chuck_norris_age_49.jpg


^ an he will do that to you... why?

because he is Chuck Norris
AKA God

no wait God is AKA Chuck Norris
 
Andy and I have come to the conclusion that 1 fact was missed about Chuck Norris...Chuck Norris has had sex with every woman in the world....and by saying Chuck Norris has had sex with every woman in the world we mean all that needs to be done is Chuck Norris's shadow passing over and random woman and the woman will IMMEDIATLY concieve a child...

God bless Chuck Norris...

wait i meant

Chuck Norris bless Chuck Norris
 
Andy and I have also figured out why Chuck Norris does not have a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood because as Chuck Norris was putting in his Star on the sidewalk a random ninja came up and through a little ninja star at Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris ate the ninja star and then looked at the random ninja and said, "what is this faggy shit?!?! how dare you throw little ninja stars at Chuck Norris"....Chuck Norris then preceded to pick up his walk of fame Star and hurled it at the ninja which caused the ninja to fly 3 streets over on top of a roof....and Andy still believes to this day that that random ninja still lie there... the place where he met his end at the hand of Chuck Norris.
 
Chuck Norris.....wait a minute, isn't he the one that did the film with the Kung Fu kid.......AFTER THAT MOVIE, EVERYTHING ELSE HE DID IS NULL AND VOID........Come on, Norris and the kung fu kid......Van Dam forever!!!!!......muhhhahahahhaa
 
Mike...

Andy informed me that your post just now is so False that it is not even worthy of replying to because we all know that Chuck Norris wouldnt even have to fight Van dam... Chuck Norris's penis would take care of Van Dam no sweat....

Mike and by you saying this Chuck Norris is going to come to you in your sleep and roundhouse kick you to your death... and you wont see him... because if you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you ... an if you cant see Chuck Norris, then you are only seconds away from death...which you will be soon Mike.
 
hahaha.....i'm invincible..................I never said i would fight Chuck.................and it's obvious i couldn't run away from him................haha.........................Could he beat me in video games????..........I think not................Fatality!!!!..............hahahaha.......................asylum rules.................
 
Its funny that your avatar is a stormtrooper Mike...funny thing is stormtroopers are actually Chuck Norris's sperm.... see Star Wars and the Death star are actually about how powerful Chuck Norris's scrotum is and inside the "Death Star" are many many "storm troopers"..and this all is a exact replication of Chuck Norris's sack...

so cheers to you for having Chuck Norris's Sperm as a avatar :smile:
 
oh and by the way Mike... Andy just informed me to post that your wife was caught under Chuck Norris's shadow today....

so....Congratulations on your new Baby...
 
As long as the kid doesn't come out with that ridiculous headband that Chuck wears, he'll be fine......Maybe i could teach him some "real" things, like pro wrestling......
 
This obsession with Chuck Norris' genitalia is very disturbing. Yes, Chuck could kill you with the Norris Force Choke from across the galaxy, but . . . you're scaring the children.
 
I've heard that this Norris man you speak of is actually GAY

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

but...if it wasn't for the gay mafia...he's be just another dude taking it in the bunghole!
 
I heard he was sellin' smoothie shake machines and stayin' out of the martial arts gig.........Maybe he's afraid of the man they call VAN DAM........hmmm....looks that way...........Smoothies!!!......Get Your Smoothies Here!!!
 
Van Dame is a girly, French dancer. Chuck could kill him with a thought. Kermit the Frog could kill Van Dame (and I'm spelling it that way on purpose) with a thought, but most likely a frog splash from the top rope.
 
Maybe the kid will come out with that same "Old Father TIme" look Chuck pulls off so well............And are we talking like Van Dam as in street fighter VanDam........Cause there is no way that Van Dam could be beat by Dr. Smoothie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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